Sort Them Ducks is a dopamine-fueled dive into a sea of rubber ducks

As a parent, I've said my fair share of weird things that sound like the beginning of insanity: 

• “No, we can't get a pet owl; the cat wouldn't like it.”

• “Please stop licking the window.”

• “We don't need any more rubber ducks, you have an army of them at home.”

Now, you may be wondering why I'm telling you this, considering this is a video games website and not one focused on parenthood. It's because of that final statement. You know, the one about rubber ducks? It has never been more true than as I sit here, having spent six hours sorting through a pile of 4,000 virtual rubber ducks and neatly organizing them onto shelves in Sort Them Ducks. 

Sort Them Ducks is one of those dopamine-fueled sorting games that throws you into a room, provides you with a chaotic and seemingly never-ending pile of themed stuff, then asks you to organize them. That's it. That's the entire premise of these games, Sort Them Ducks included, and I love them in the same way I love waxing my legs.

The end result is beautiful, but it's a pain to get there. 

What the duck did I get myelf into

When you start a new game of Sort Them Ducks, you’re confronted with a behemoth pile of colorful ducks, a bunch of empty shelves, and absolutely no instructions. This is an overwhelming prospect in any sorting game, but Sort Them Ducks somehow manages to up the level of “oh God, send help", because everywhere you look, clashing colors and shapes amount to pure chaos. 

There are 4,015 rubber ducks in this relatively small space, and every single one of them has a specific section where they need to go. Most of them are straightforward: the superhero ducks, like Bat Duck and Spider Duck, go in the superhero section, and so on. However, some ducks stray from what you think the rules of placement should be. 

For instance, the Egg duck, which you may originally expect to go in the food section with the other culinary-themed ducks, actually goes in the farm section. The butterfly and bee ducks also go here, rather than in the animal section. The mermaid duck, which in my mind should go in the beach section, actually belongs in the pirate section, while the lifeguard duck doesn’t go in the job section at all, but the beach section. 

Once you’ve figured out where everything goes, though, it becomes easier to hoard ducks in your inventory and start slotting them into place.

I think I'm quacking up

There comes a time during every run of a sorting game when you begin to question your life choices, and Sort Them Ducks is no different. Why did I start doing this? Have I even made a difference here? The answer is yes, you have made a difference, though you'd never be able to tell at first glance. That's a weirdly touching sentiment, too, considering I'm organizing virtual ducks and putting them back on the shelves.

When the above screenshot was taken, I had spent three hours playing and had sorted almost 2,000 ducks. You can see them, right there on the shelves in the background. That's my evidence that actual sorting had taken place. So could someone, please, explain to me why it looks like I haven't done a damn thing? Almost half the ducks are in their rightful places, and it still looks like an explosion in the rubber duck factory.

But by this point, the sunk cost fallacy has kicked in. You can’t leave the job half finished; you have to complete the task. Plus, every shelf that glows gold to mark its completion provides a mild dopamine hit, and those little victories stack up over time. Just when you start to think there is no light at the end of this duck-filled tunnel, you start unlocking and upgrading your skills, and that’s when things start to get easier.

All my ducks in a row

You get one dollar for every duck you sort correctly in Sort Them Ducks. With the dollars you earn, you can begin unlocking skills and upgrading yourself to speed up the process of sorting going forward. You make your inventory bigger so you can make better use of your time, unlock the ability to throw ducks in the vague direction of the correct shelves and let them organize themselves, and eventually gain another skill that summons ducks matching the one you’re holding. 

All of these upgrades are pretty standard within the “sort this pile of stuff” genre, but they never fail to instill a sense of hope and relief once you start to unlock and build upon them. Once you’ve fully upgraded your skills (and earned an achievement for doing so), you can start playing with the slot machine to make them even better. 

Suddenly you’ve got a maximum inventory of 20, you can throw ducks the full length of the shop, and the shelves are quickly being populated by adorable themed duckies.

Was it worth it?

Honestly? Yes. But not because I’m a fan of rubber ducks. At least, not any more.

We all know that these sorting games aren’t the most thrilling or intense gameplay experiences, but they provide a sense of control over the chaos of life that sometimes isn’t available outside of the gaming world. Life is messy; things pile on top of you, and having even the virtual ability to control that, to find order in the chaos, is soothing to a lot of people. 

Having finally found orderly homes for every duck in the store, a process that took me six hours (although there is an achievement for doing it under four), Mr. Duck names you employee of the month and gifts you 2,000 duplicates of your favorite duck. Admittedly, he was only supposed to give you one, but I suppose ducks don’t have the greatest dexterity for button pushing on account of their wings. 

Plus, if you hunt down the 10 hidden eggs around the two rooms, you get your very own personalized duckie, which you can place on its own pedestal. Now that’s a sense of completion that I can fully get behind. 

If you want to find some order in the chaos, Sort Them Ducks is available to purchase and download now on Steam. Just be warned: you might never want to see another rubber duck again in your life once you’ve finished the game.