Worming from Home made me weirdly good at typing with my head

Do you remember a few years back, there was a trend going around the short-form video sites of girls asking their boyfriends/husbands whether they’d still love them if they were a worm? I never quite understood the trend, but a game was recently released that has allowed me to ask my fiancé that very question, and at least kind of mean it. That game is Worming from Home.

Worming from Home is a job and, sort of, life simulator by Zack Northrop and Mason Zabharwal. In it, you’re obviously a worm, and you work from home as a junior financial analyst. I know, ‘worm’ and ‘junior financial analyst’ don't exactly seem like a natural pairing, but it’s a bizarre yet fun-filled game that I can’t get enough of.

This worm is more productive than I am

In Worming from Home, each day is pretty much the same. You spend your time at the keyboard of a computer doing basic math problems, inputting arbitrary numbers on spreadsheets that make no sense, and gossiping with your coworkers via instant message. I have no idea what financial analysts actually spend their days doing, but I can only assume this is a similar experience. 

The only major difference that really stands out is the fact that you, as a worm, use your head to press every key. I mean, of course you do; you’re a worm! You do not possess hands, let alone fingers, to press the keys and make this task easier. Your head is the only tool you have to do the typing; I just worry about the headache this little worm has at the end of the day. 

Working on the spreadsheets isn’t too bad, as long as your basic math skills are up to scratch. It does get harder when you have to press Ctrl while being elsewhere on the keyboard, but thankfully there are dice and other items around that you can use to help with that. It is all very much busy work, though. The type of work you do when you want to look busy while actually waiting for the end of the day to arrive.

Would you love me if I were a worm?

No, I’m not sorry. It was begging to be done. 

After the first few disastrous, fledgling attempts at typing and using a mouse, I found that I became weirdly competent at head-based typing, although it’s not something I’d ever consider in real life. I quickly gained some accuracy and speed while typing both messages and spreadsheet entries, and it actually ended up being a strangely addictive experience. 

Plus, there is apparently at least one person who has the potential to love me as a worm. M, one of the contacts on the instant messenger app, provided me with a phone number for a local florist during our chat. So I, being ever curious and with zero impulse control, spent 10 minutes fighting with the phone to call the number and inadvertently spent $20 on a bouquet for M. I don’t know what consequences this will have for my worm. Perhaps I’ll end up in an ill-advised, cross-species relationship with M, or maybe I’ll get a phone call from human resources. 

Interns make the work easy (by doing it for you)

Once you’ve saved up a bit of cash and avoided being laid off in a round of cuts, you can start hiring interns. These interns, safely tucked away on the other side of the desk, start passively bringing in income, leaving you free to slack off and gossip, explore, or level up your skills through a series of delightfully retro mini-games. 

You can read, which actually sees the worm curled up in an armchair with glasses on while you play a game of old-school Snake. Or you can strength train, which involves playing Block Breaker while the worm lifts a barbell. Whatever skill you choose to train, you'll earn a skill point each time it levels up, which you can spend on upgrades for your worm. 

I have to admit, I got a bit distracted by the mini-games and spent most of day 7 lifting weights and reading, long after I’d maxed out my skills for the level of equipment I owned. Of course I hadn’t done any actual work, and my interns don’t make me rich immediately, so I’d wasted a day playing Snake while avoiding doing the work I should have been doing. 

Oddly enough, that sounds like something I would definitely do in real life too. 

Anything could happen next

I know I’ve barely scratched the surface of Worming from Home; there are so many things I haven't done yet, and at least 90 more interns I can unlock to do the work for me. I need to see out the could-be-romance storyline between myself and M, so I’m waiting for their messages to reach my inbox as I write this. 

On the plus side, I’m oddly reassured about two things: Yes, my fiancé would love me if I were a worm (I asked), and even if I did wake up one morning sans limbs and oddly floppy, I would still be able to update The Nerdy Type with my newly discovered head-centric typing skills. Admittedly, updates might take a bit longer, but better late than never!

Worming from Home is out now on Steam, and it is an incredibly fun way to kill a few hours if you’re looking for something bizarre to play when you’re meant to be working from home. Just don’t tell your boss I recommended it…